Perpetual Unbalance

Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to sit down and cry “I just wanna go home”? Like you’re away at some awful summer camp, counting down the days until you can return to the safety and security of home. Only, you are home. The very place you want to flee is supposed to be the safe haven you naturally seek. Sometimes I feel like I simply can not go on like this anymore, as if I will literally burst at the seams if I have to carry on one more day, one more moment. Then I think of all the things that would fall to ruin if I weren’t here to keep the juggling act going and the fear that it would only be worse when I returned. To have to clean up the mess my absence has caused. I can’t even enjoy the very people with the power to make me feel better. There’s never enough time without distraction. My life has become a yo-yo, or maybe rollercoaster is a better description, barely recovering from the hard climb before free falling back down, only to have to climb once again. It’s become this cycle of ups and downs that seem unbearable at times. But that’s life right? I mean that is what life is about… the good and the bad, the easy and the tuff, the giggles and the tears, the fun and the work. Without the bad how could wbe enjoy the good, really appreciate it? So for now, I’m just looking forward to the time when the good, easy, giggling fun outweighs the bad, tuff, tearful, work.