Thursday, April 13, 2006

Chaos

Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to sit down and cry “I just wanna go home”? Like you’re away at some awful summer camp, counting down the days until you can return to the safety and security of home. Only, you are home. The very place you want to flee is supposed to be the safe haven you naturally seek. Sometimes I feel like I simply can not go on like this anymore, as if I will literally burst at the seams if I have to carry on one more day, one more moment. Then I think of all the things that would fall to ruin if I weren’t here to keep the juggling act going and the fear that it would only be worse when I returned. To have to clean up the mess my absence has caused. I can’t even enjoy the very people with the power to make me feel better. There’s never enough time without distraction. My life has become a yo-yo, or maybe rollercoaster is a better description, barely recovering from the hard climb before free falling back down, only to have to climb once again. It’s become this cycle of ups and downs that seem unbearable at times. But that’s life right? I mean that is what life is about… the good and the bad, the easy and the tuff, the giggles and the tears, the fun and the work. Without the bad how could wbe enjoy the good, really appreciate it? So for now, I’m just looking forward to the time when the good, easy, giggling fun outweighs the bad, tuff, tearful, work.
 
posted by Unbalanced at 7:02 PM, |

7 Comments:

  At 8:22 PM Blogger Mar said:
Let me give you a little bit of advice. I ones gave myself. Remember you only have one life to live. Its hard as it is, don't make it harder on yourself. Things will always be there! Take time to enjoy your life and the life of the people you love. They will eventually leave, either they grow up and move on or people die. So, don't spend too much of your time in things that will be there tomorrow.Live today as it was your last day!
  At 8:38 PM Blogger Unbalanced said:
Wow, that sounds like really good advice. Thank you. I'm going to print that and put it on my desk!
  At 9:16 AM Blogger Syd said:
I do know how that feels. Currently, in fact. How does Central America sound? Meet me at the airport. Leave a note, we'll be gone @ 10 days.

Well, it sounds like fun anyway. i'm sure things will get better for both of us. Just remember...don't take the seatbelt off...we know what's around the corner, lol.
  At 11:42 AM Blogger Zoe said:
Do you have any hobbies or freetime? It sounds like you need some time to be able to unwind. You should schedule time for yourself to leave the house, alone, and go do something for an hour or two at least once a week,that you enjoy. Or take up something like yoga, or martial arts. You have to learn to slow down, life becomes too rush rush if you let it.
Syd - I was on my way to the airport but got pulled over for speeding, hit a parked car while pulling over, and broke a damn nail. Shit! So I'm running a little late. (story of my life) Oh well, it would have been fun.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there feeling like this.

Zoe - As simple as that advice sounds I really hadn't thought to do that. I always say I never have time to do this or that, but I guess I need to TAKE the time or I'm going to burn out. Maybe I'll try something I've never done that might also help me get in better shape (that's sure to make me feel better). Perhaps yoga as you suggested (doesn't that help with the inside and the outside?) or maybe kick boxing (to get some of that fustration out)
  At 12:45 PM Blogger Zoe said:
It does sound simple enough doesn't it? I should take my own advice. I would like to take yoga because I need to relax my mind and body. I need a way to turn my my mind off, it races constantly.
  At 8:27 PM Blogger SassyFemme said:
Maybe just start with a bubble bath and a good novel to get some quiet time to regroup?