Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Boundaries people! Boundaries!

WTH is wrong with boundaries? I mean they're there for a reason. I'm really gonna have to go over some boundaries with my mom. If you've been around here (meaning my blog) long enough you already know the conversation with my mom about sex not too long ago. Today... I was again subjected to a conversation with my mom that I'd rather not ever have again nor have had in the first place. I swear this woman needs some FRIENDS!

(some of my thoughts are in italics throughout the narration of the conversation)
Mom - Honey, I've got to tell you about the funniest thing that happened the other night. I decided to give D a full body massage. So I got the oil-
Me - WAIT! Is this about sex?
Mom - *laughs* no honey not at all. So I got the oil and I started at his feet and then he rolled over so I could do his back.
Me - uh huh (I'm scared where this is going)
Mom - *laughs* well we'd just gotten out of the shower
Me - (oh no, oh no, I'm really scared)
Mom - *still laughing* and we didn't bother to get dressed
Me - (WARNING! WARNING! unwanted information coming too fast to stop)
Mom - so you have to picture D naked and all oily *laughing*
Me - (OMFG NOOOOOO! Unwanted mental flash I SO did not want. WHY they hell would I want to picture D NAKED MOTHER!!!!!!!)
Mom - so I was going to sit on his butt to massage his back and I slid right off *belly laughing*
Me - (Oh no, I just can't believe you just told me this. I don't want to know all this) *silence*
Me - that's funny mom *not laughing*
Mom - I know that's why I had to tell you *laughing
Me - (no you didn't, really... you shouldn't have)

Obviously next time I ALSO need to ask if her story contains NUDITY!

Do you think this is just payback for all the hell I put her thru as a child?
posted by Unbalanced at 2:28 PM, |


  At 3:15 PM Blogger Zoe said:
This is the only case when I'm thankful that my parents are VERY Catholic, cause I don't need to hear about this kind of shit.
  At 6:35 PM Blogger SassyFemme said:
Wow, I think this totally tops the lala-land conversation at my house!
  At 7:39 PM Blogger Syd said:

Poor thing.

Maybe you should toss a sex story back at her. could try it out on us first! LOL
  At 9:36 AM Blogger Zanne said:
Ok that was too hilarious!
  At 10:38 AM Blogger Trop said:
"Do you think this is just payback for all the hell I put her thru as a child?"

OH GAWD! Now I'm in total fear of the paybacks I'm gonna get from my now-13-year-old kid for all my newlywed lesbian woohooing she's experiencing vicariously.
Thanks for all the good VIBES!
This seems kind of awesome to me, meaning I am awed, literally. My mom doesn't even talk about sex. I don't think I've ever heard her say a single word referring to her "lower area".

My prude mom aside, I suggest next time you plug your ears and just start yelling some stupid song. You think she'd get the hint?
Introspectre, or perhaps I could just have her call you since your lacking in that area. Well call it a welcome gift. :)